In a Yellow Cab - Part Four

Sam suddenly feels overwhelmed, by this day. This unexpected encounter. This hope that is being offered, when he feels so undeserving. As his thoughts steamroll through his mind, Allie breaks the silence. “Sam, I want you to come home. I want to figure out this whole thing called life with you. I am sorry too. I let my own grief overshadow yours, that was selfish. I let you down too. This isn’t just about you leaving. I had thought about it too, to be honest. I thought things would get better all by themselves. You know, with time. I have come to realize over the past few months that I couldn’t blame you for disappearing. It was what happened over time when we didn’t talk, when we didn’t share our ache with each other.” Allie pauses and lifts her other hand to Sam’s face, drying the wetness with her warm palm.

“Will you come home?” Do you think we can start over? This baby needs two parents.” To punctuate this statement, the baby kicks again against their hands. Allie’s face seems paralyzed in a grimace of pain all of the sudden. Sam watches as she leans forward slightly and breathes out slowly. She turns her face towards him and smiles weakly. “I think maybe we should make our way to the hospital. Our baby is about to make it’s appearance.” Sam, suddenly energized yells to the cab driver the change in plans, “My wife is having our baby!”

At the next intersection, the cab driver turns left and heads in the direction of the closest hospital. Sam reaches over and grabs hold of Allie’s hand. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together.” Allie squeezes his hand as another vice-like grip clamps down on her stomach. They ride in silence, each lost in thoughts of what is about to happen.

As the hospital comes into view, Sam wonders at how his day has taken this turn. His plans were to go home and warm up a leftover supper alone followed by work that he had taken home from the office. Now, here he is with his estranged wife, who is about to give birth to their child. He can hardly contain the smile that spreads over his face. He never thought any of this was possible. He is not so naive to think that there are not hard things ahead, many unsaid things that still need to be talked through, but it feels like a new start, one that he doesn’t feel he deserves. The cab stops and he hands the driver a fist full of bills. He jumps out and runs around to Allie’s side to help her out of the back seat. They walk slowly into the hospital. He looks down as is his habit. He stares at his worn shoes and decides that the first thing he’s going to do tomorrow is get a new pair for a new start. His heart feels light and buoyant as he again is hit with this second chance. A second chance with his wife. A second chance to be a dad.

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As he walks into the hospital the next day, his feet are on air. His new shoes are already old friends. He does not look down this day. There are more important things than his shoes, like his brand new son. Aric Samuel was born at 8:34 last night. His wife glowed, their baby in her arms. It is picture that will forever be engraved on his memory. He smiles to himself at the feel of the tiny shoes that he holds in his hand. He never thought he would be able to hold them in his hands and feel joy, but today it just seems right. The brown suede feels so soft and comforting as he rubs his finger back and forth over the top of the small shoe, something he has done many times. He wishes that Claire was walking beside him right now, holding his hand going to meet her little brother for the first time. But as he holds the tiny shoes that were once on her feet, he feels like somehow she is watching this scene, wishing that she was there too.