There are a few household duties that I avoid and put off until they seem to loom so large in the corner of my eye that they become the hugest and most awful task in the entire world. Cleaning the cabinet under the kitchen sink is one of them. Our garbage can and our compost pail are under the sink and sometimes things don't quite end up in the proper spots, if you know what I mean?! Over time, all the things that miss the garbage can or the compost bucket really build up and it gets really disgusting under there. Cleaning under the sink never makes it on my to do list somehow and it gets worse and worse. Yesterday, the mess was conquered. I donned the rubber gloves and went at it! In all it took me about fifteen minutes and the job that I was dreading wasn't nearly as awful as I anticipated. Even washing out the garbage can, without gagging, went without a hitch.
I learned something yesterday. The things that my mind blows out of proportion and that I avoid, really aren't as big of a deal as I think they are. This lesson applies to more than just cleaning. There are other things that I avoid in life too; apologizing to someone that I have mistreated, being available to people and causes that could use my help, one-sided relationships with people where all the work is on my side, being totally honest with people when they ask my thoughts or opinions on things, exercising faithfully, and making the dreaded phone calls! Most of the things that I avoid are asking me to step up and grow up and be dedicated and committed to something great. I know that in doing the things that I avoid, I will become something better. My mind still makes the excuses and tells me to keep avoiding. It whispers, "It's too hard. You'll look like an idiot. Why me? Who cares? What difference does it make? Lisa, you're weird!". I think maybe the whispers want me to lose and to stay stuck where I'm at. The evidence goes back to my job of yesterday. Once, I got to work and did the task, it wasn't so bad, it even spurred me on to scrub the floor, clean the toilet and wash the windows! I have a cleaner house today because I started with one dreaded task.
Monday, January 24, 2011
Looking up at the towering tangle of yellow, green and red metal inspired awe and a sense of danger.
The cold sting of steel on warm hands.
I conquered my fears as I climbed and reached, seemingly, beyond my grasp.
Wednesday, January 19, 2011
Saturday, January 15, 2011
Sunday, January 9, 2011
In life, I have come to expect corners too. Corners are the turns that life takes, sometimes without any warning. It's interesting how I still think that corners are a distraction from life and I sometimes fear them, when really they are life. What I mean is that things like accidents, sickness, relational issues, financial struggles, job challenges, parenting crisis, and making choices that affect the future, are everyday things. They are corners, but they have significance because they take you somewhere. Corners are reality. They shape you and mold you. If I expect corners and know how to handle myself in them, they doesn't seem so scary. Even if you fall and mess up big time, you know that there is another one coming and you get to try again. Yeah, some corners are painful and you have the bruises to show for them, get up, take it slow and try again. There's something to learn in every corner...at least that's what my skates have been telling me.
Wednesday, January 5, 2011
“Will you come home?” Do you think we can start over? This baby needs two parents.” To punctuate this statement, the baby kicks again against their hands. Allie’s face seems paralyzed in a grimace of pain all of the sudden. Sam watches as she leans forward slightly and breathes out slowly. She turns her face towards him and smiles weakly. “I think maybe we should make our way to the hospital. Our baby is about to make it’s appearance.” Sam, suddenly energized yells to the cab driver the change in plans, “My wife is having our baby!”
At the next intersection, the cab driver turns left and heads in the direction of the closest hospital. Sam reaches over and grabs hold of Allie’s hand. “I’m here. I’m not going anywhere. We’re in this together.” Allie squeezes his hand as another vice-like grip clamps down on her stomach. They ride in silence, each lost in thoughts of what is about to happen.
As he walks into the hospital the next day, his feet are on air. His new shoes are already old friends. He does not look down this day. There are more important things than his shoes, like his brand new son. Aric Samuel was born at 8:34 last night. His wife glowed, their baby in her arms. It is picture that will forever be engraved on his memory. He smiles to himself at the feel of the tiny shoes that he holds in his hand. He never thought he would be able to hold them in his hands and feel joy, but today it just seems right. The brown suede feels so soft and comforting as he rubs his finger back and forth over the top of the small shoe, something he has done many times. He wishes that Claire was walking beside him right now, holding his hand going to meet her little brother for the first time. But as he holds the tiny shoes that were once on her feet, he feels like somehow she is watching this scene, wishing that she was there too.