Thursday, September 20, 2012

Locked In

It's a beautiful day to paint a chicken least that's what I said to myself as I gathered up my paint and supplies and headed out to the coop, Coen trailing behind. With the door open and the window cranked as far as it could go, there was enough of a breeze to make it almost pleasant to be in there. After a morning of blaaa, of just kind of feeling tired and lethargic about life in general, I thought I would do something productive, something to check off of the to-do list, something to get me out of my slump.

All was going fabulous, as far as the painting was concerned, until somehow Coen closed the door of the coop and I was locked in. Apparently being scared of spider makes it impossible to then open the door and let your mother out of the chicken coop. The window doesn't crank open enough to let out an adult...tried that. Consoling a crying 4-year-old petrified of a speck with legs...impossible while locked in a chicken coop. Remaining calm as the paint fumes and the temperature rises in said coop...interesting. So sweating, hyper Mom breathing out of the window tries to instill confidence in her only son: "Coen, the spider is a bad guy and you're a good guy. You need to use the broom and get that guy!" After many failed attempts of throwing the broom from ten feet away, the spider finally takes off. Coen lets me out and saves the little hero! Not sure of the elapsed time of this entire event, but long enough to have become quite drippy and head achy!

The air and the breeze post lock-up was incredible. It felt so good to be free. To know that I wasn't going to be stuck there for hours was such a relief. My life seems a little clausterphobic to me at times. I long for change. I don't always see it happen. Sometimes it gets me down, like this morning. (I even called my Mom to have a cry) I crave freedom. Not only for me, but for others too. I want to see people full of joy and peace. I want that too. Being locked in the chicken coop was a reminder that although I feel locked in sometimes in the circumstances of my life that there is always fresh air out there, there will be relief, and that this time of seeming hopelessness doesn't last forever. It also reminded me that soemtimes you need a Hero to get you out of hopelessness. Someone who lets you breathe...who is breath itself...