Saturday, September 3, 2011

A Dangerous Woman

Several years ago, my husband gave me a book entitled, Nice Girls Don't Change the World by Lynne Hybels. That title grabbed me. (What also grabbed me was the fact that my husband gave me a book with that title.) I wanted to find out what the author really meant. What was her definition of 'nice'? I have a definition of nice that was embedded in my mind by my high school English teacher. She said nice didn't really mean anything. It was not an adjective that she wanted to see in our writing because it didn't really describe anything, it was overused and lacked oomph. There are certainly words that could be used in it's place. Nice is a word that gets you out of saying what you really think. Nice is lame. As I read the book. I realized that the author's definition of nice was in sync with my English teacher's. Nice girls really can't change the world because there is no substance. Nice girls have lost sight of what it means to truly live. Nice girls are existing in a world of other people's expectations with no expectations of their own. Nice girls can hardly be defined because nice doesn't really describe anything.

The author details her own descent into 'niceness'. She knew she had dreams and gifts and passions, but felt that what other people wanted from her trumped all of those things. So she set them aside, nodded her head and acquiesed to niceness at the cost of herself. She was lost and defeated. All the joy of life was stifled in niceness. She began to realize that the opposite to a nice girl was a good woman; a dangerous woman. She had encounters with some these woman and was inspired anew at the amazing things woman were doing. They were living and thriving. They were changing things. They were inspiring others. They were conquering injustices and spreading hope all around. These dangerous women infused her. They peeled back the layers of nice and unleashed a woman who speaks and acts in confidence and grace.

Dangerous woman, Rosa Parks (mugshot)
This woman's story inspired me. Often a dangerous woman is seen as a bra burner or gets the label of 'bitch'. I am here to shed some light on that misconception. A dangerous woman is not out to seek credit for herself or topple mountains that no 'man' has ever succeeded in. That's not the point. A dangerous woman knows who she is and what she's about. She uses her beauty, not to seduce but to show the world that beauty does in fact exist. A dangerous woman's beauty captivates with her heart. She is strong but not offensive, that brings me to the other word I mentioned....bitch. I don't wish to offend any readers by using that word, but to clarify and speak truth. I don't believe that a dangerous woman is a 'bitch.' Any other definition of dangerous woman may include that element which makes you fearful of dangerous woman. I'm pretty sure there are some country songs out there about this kind of dangerous woman. This kind of dangerous woman makes you want to stay out of her way, but not the one that I am proposing today. A dangerous woman speaks truth but does not crush or belittle. A dangerous woman speaks with passion, courage and is not afraid to share it with emotion attached. A dangerous woman empowers others. A truly dangerous woman is someone to reckon with, but you don't have the urge to tell them off. Do you see the difference?

I know many dangerous women. I long to meet more. I long to see women truly alive and pursuing life, no longer drowning in 'nice' because nice girls don't change the world. The world needs more dangerous women.


  1. the thing is, people (often other women) call dangerous women, even the kind you're talking about, 'bra burners' and 'bitch' because they're afraid of them; they feel threatened, because dangerous women upset the status quo - just like Jesus did. Think of what they called what they call you doesn't mean anything.

  2. Marianne, SO very true! You are one of those dangerous women that I was referring to. You know who you are and what you are about. You use your gifts to help and you say the things that need to be said. I so appreciate that you are honest and open. Keep sharing yourself with the world! Hope your time in Swizerland is going well. Miss ya!

  3. I went searching for your blog this morning and am glad I did! Oh how often I find myself in the plight of nice... yuck... this may be my biggest regret... not doing the "good" I should do because I "fear" men. Anyways, thanks for the encourgement to truly live and walk a life that inspires others to do the same.