Tuesday, July 20, 2010
Seven years ago today, I got married to Jeremy. It was a beautiful day that we talk about often. Time has marched on and here we are seven years into this thing called marriage. We started as a family of two that day and now it has grown to four. I thought I really loved Jer when I married him, but I know now that the love I had for him then was very small and untested. I think about people that have been married for thirty years plus and what love must be like at that point, after living so much more of life together.
Marriage is interesting. It is not really what I thought it was in my naive teenage years. I imagined that we would have hours of uninterrupted time together...ha! I imagined going for walks together at the end of the day. I imagined love letters and flowers and all that other stuff that I thought was romance. I now think that romance is stolen kisses with kids hanging off our legs. Romance is is sitting on our deck as the sun goes down, not saying much of anything, just being together in the same place. Romance is a hug when the day starts and a kiss goodnight. Romance is belly laughing at each other. Romance is crying in each other's arms. Romance is talking through life's ups and downs and celebrating that we continue on the journey...together. I am glad that I have been surprised by what marriage is really like. I am happy that it is different and so much more than what I thought it was.
Husbands are interesting too. I had room mates a couple time during my single life, but I have to say that having a room mate is not the same thing as having a husband. Room mates do not have the same expectations as a spouse. You don't have the same kind of time and love invested in that kind of co-habitation either. I have seen every side (maybe not quite every side) of my husband, Jer; the good, the bad, the ugly, the selfish, the angry, the gentle, the compassionate, the heartbroken, the sweet, the harsh, the lovable, the servant, the generous, the taker, the father, the friend, the son, the brother, the idiot, the genius, the creative, the destructive, the playful, the work-aholic, the lover, the artist, the musician, the builder, the brooder, the depressed, the joyful, the hungry, the grumpy, the hilarious, the actor, the studious, the amazing, the driven, the thoughtful, the thoughtless, the kind, the romantic, an the absolutely most disgusting. And I love him, with a bigger love than I thought my heart could hold. The crazy part is that he has seen all of my sides and he loves me back. The wonder of it all!!??
I am so honored that I get to spend the rest of my life learning what it means to love every side of Jeremy Seatter. It's hard, it's wonderful, it's complex, it's painful, it requires more than what I am capable of at times, but it's worth it. I get to learn about love by loving.