Showing posts with label pride. Show all posts
Showing posts with label pride. Show all posts

Friday, June 18, 2010

Cheering Section

I don't know if any of you have ever had the privilege of being at Taylor Field, home of the Saskatchewan Roughriders, during a home game. Being a part of the sea of green is an experience to say the least. The intensity and passion that these fans display is pretty amazing! I believe that if you are not a Roughrider fan, you kind of want to be one after you've been to one of their games in front of their home crowd. Riders fans are known to do crazy things for their team; picture watermelons on heads??!! One thing that Riders fans do best is cheer on their team. They are loud and loyal, travelling all across this country to do it! The past couple seasons have been great for the Riders, but it hasn't always been so. Even when there have been pretty huge disappointments season after season, Taylor field still gets packed out loss after loss. The message this sends is that Rider fans are behind their team no matter what.

 I had a conversation with my Dad awhile back, one that we had never had. Not that I can recall anyway. In the conversation, my Dad told me that he was proud of the woman that I had become. He saw good in me. He saw growth. He saw that what I believed, I lived out. These words were a high point for me. I have remembered this talk this week in particular because I haven't felt that there is much good in me these last few days.

It's been one of those weeks of self-reflection and honest words from others. Just when I was getting used to the idea that my pride had been given a few knocks, it got a few more punches! Isn't that how it goes sometimes? You feel like you're growing and changing and then you are enlightened to truth once again and the facts that say, "Not so fast there, Girl! You still have a long way to go!". Those words were not welcomed! They really stressed me out for a few days while I dealt with the pain and the realization, once again, that I suck and that I need to keep being honest about how I treat others and speak about things. I don't think I would have been able to handle the harsh words though without knowing that there are people in my cheering section. People like my Dad, who know me and my heart. Who celebrate with me when I succeed and encourage me not to give up when things get tough. We all need a cheering section, the go-to people who are faithful to see us through the good and the not so pretty and love us no matter what. We also need to be some one's cheering section too! To be the people who are there and who speak truth with love all over it. It makes the pride pill easier to swallow, trust me.

Tuesday, June 8, 2010

Me = Chicken

I am a chicken. I don't have feathers, I don't cluck, and I most definitely am not up with the dawn but I am a chicken. There are times when I am the biggest coward. For me, I think cowardice looks like pride. My chicken likeness rears it's head when I need to admit that I am wrong, don't know everything, or apologize. I had to write an e-mail today that was an apology and I had been putting it off for forever. The knowing that I needed to make amends was lurking around in the back of my mind for at least a couple of months and during a conversation yesterday I felt the urge to finally face it. So, this morning I wrote the email. No excuses included. Heart in throat. Sorry said. Forgiveness asked for. Now I wait.

Pride is a facade. It lets me remain smug in the face of conviction. It covers the hurts inflicted by others with the appearance of strength. Even while my own heart breaks. It puts a smile on my face and words in my mouth that I don't really feel or even want to say. It allows me to think, if only for awhile, that I can avoid owning up to the pain that I cause others. This wall of pride needs to crumble a lot more often. It is easy to hide behind it. It is hard to break the wall down and be real with people. It's difficult to admit that I am wrong. It's humbling to ask for forgiveness. But I don't want pride to be what people see when they see me.

People who are truly great are servants.
People that leave an imprint in our lives are givers.
People that impact the world are humble.
People that are worth following know how to admit weakness.
People that are truly famous never sought fame.
These people live life without pride.
These people are not chickens.