Hat

Day Six - Many of you have met the gravity tester in real life, but for those of you who haven't today you get a glimpse. His name is Coen. He is a sweet boy with a lot of energy and imagination. He says he wants to a cowboy when he grows up, we've been thinking maybe a stunt man! Coen loves peanut butter and honey sandwiches, Woody, sharks (pronounced 'showks'), singing, pirates (pronounce 'piwates'), sound effects, rolling around on the floor, his sister, books about silly things, cowboy boots and his cowboy hat.

Lately Coen has exerted a style preference. His cowboy hat and boots go with everything.... pajamas, sweat pants and (my personal favorite) shorts! So he pretty much  wears his cowboy gear whenever we leave the house...preschool, church, town, grandma's house, to get the mail, and one night even to bed! No capes and masks for this guy. Cowboy duds are the thing for him.

People always smile when they see Cowboy Coen. It would take a pretty cold heart not to. He's adorable. I am glad that he makes people smile. I am glad that he isn't self-conscious about who he is and what he likes. Sadly, he will likely learn that soon enough. In the mean time there's something that we can all learn from Coen: Be who you are and love what you love without worrying about stuff that isn't important!

What goes up....

I coined a phrase regarding my little guy Coen recently. Coen is addicted to gravity. He is constantly doing the research to prove that gravity exists. Be it rocks, kittens, or his favorite toy, Woody, everything is thrown up into the air. I've also seen him with his toes, three steps from the bottom of the stairs, precariously far over the edge, creeping closer and closer over the edge until there is no other option but to fall, face-first, down three stairs and then get up and try it again? I'm not sure what it is about his little psyche that doesn't believe that whatever he throws, himself included, will not return to the earth. Maybe he's hoping that it, or himself will fly?! Strange things are afoot!

I think ultimately he has trust issues. I have put him in swimming lessons for the last couple of months. He absolutely despises getting his face wet. I bought him goggles just so we could get through the lessons without the screams of bloody murder echoing throughout the pool. I forgot to mention that I am in the swimming lesson with him. He frantically clings to me. He cannot trust that I will not let him go. He cannot believe that I, his mother, would do anything to ensure that he will NOT drown. At this rate I may still be in swimming lessons with him when he is twenty. Sometimes fear, lack of trust, gets the upper hand in our lives. The result is hell. The irony of this whole thing is, is that if Coen could calm down and hear the comforting words of someone that loves him with an overflowing heart, maybe fears would take a back seat and he could actually enjoy being in the water. He chooses to be afraid and to cry and yell, while peace is there within his grasp. To me this definitely describes hell.

We also choose hell for ourselves at times. We worry about things that are beyond our control. We stay up late in bed mulling over problems and worries that can never be changed by our own troubled thoughts. The result is a tormented soul, far from peace and hope and joy while all of those things are within our grasp. We may even be clinging desperately to them but cannot hear or feel the assurance that comes from them because we are wrapped in our fear, doubt and pain.

Maybe you have experienced this. Whatever your hell has been, HOPE is there. Trust. Reach out and grab a hold of PEACE. Be quiet. Rest. The storm can be over, if you allow it.

Energy

Spunk, get-up-and-go, oommfff, energizer bunny, dynamo, vigor, gusto, zest, verve, pep, live wire, and fervor are all words that are, to me, synonymous with energy. Many of you know that I have two children, Elle and Coen. This word, energy, applies to both of them but in particular to child number two. Coen is two and a half years old and is full of life. The following words have been said about Coen upon observation or from having spent any length of time in the same room with him; rambunctious, monkey, hyper, handful, wiggly, and does he ever sit still?

Coen loves to be where the action is and if there is a dull moment he will fill it up with some kind of craziness. He giggles and tickles and runs very fast on two small legs. He throws things and loves to get into the honey when he thinks that no one will find "his royal stickiness". He is an amateur escape artist and can con anyone into giving him things laden with sugar, his drug of choice. And then he smiles and wants to cuddle melting your heart into a big puddle of goo (he gets that from his Dad). Five seconds later though he starts up with the mischief all over again (he gets that from his Dad too!). This is just how he is and I love him to bits. The downside is that he really seems to wear me out. I sometimes wish that his energy could recharge mine somehow.

Everything about life requires energy. Relationships, jobs, studying, parenting, cleaning the toilet, playing Bocce ball, learning Japanese, riding a unicycle, pulling weeds, climbing Mt. Everest, and writing a blog late at night, all require that some effort on our part is exerted. I don't know about you, but when I have completed a task that required a lot of energy I sometimes like to stand back and just look at it for a bit, even if it's only an abstract observation in my own mind. I like to think about how the work that went into whatever I was trying to accomplish was worth it. I like to think about how that work can or will affect others around me. I love it when I can look at my effort and feel like I did my best. There is a sense of satisfaction in energy well used.

The flip side of this happy coin is the fact that sometimes the energy we put into things drains us. I know that I have a lot harder time seeing the value in things that make me feel like I would rather just stay in bed! Sometimes there is not a whole lot of immediate return on the energy that we spend. This is called investment. The return is far into the future, if ever. Yet these uphill battles and struggles are worthy pursuits because they require us to persevere and to be faithful even when there doesn't seem to be an end to them or a reward. Maybe the reward for our investment is not our own, but someone else's. I know that as I parent my monkey, Coen, the energy that he consumes from me, is my investment in who he becomes. As much as he wears me out now and keeps me on my toes, I know that every moment I spend with him will shape my little world-changer and it's worth it!